Nobody that knows me has every confused me with an orphaned Hayley Mills playing the "glad game". But...
I think often "Life Sucks!" is a self-fulfilling prophesy. We do it to ourselves.
I am not saying people don't face real tragedy - some do, and they have every right to be upset or sad. I am also not implying people don't face real depression or mental illness - genetics and environment cause some people to need medical support. Both of those groups are excused from the rest of my soap-box speech. I can't possibly understand everything they are facing, and believe they deserve the support and encouragement and assistance necessary to overcome those trials.
As for the rest of us.... Let's be honest. How many of us are really justified in our anger, sadness, or frustration? And yet, we spend a huge amount of time and energy worrying, and complaining, about anything and everything. If you want to have a happier life, do something about it! How many of the following situations apply in your life? (I know too many of them apply to mine.)
You are amazed by the terrible example celebrities set. You listen to the recordings of Mel Gibson's rants, watch YouTube videos of Charlie Sheen, and follow every update on the Lindsay Lohan trial. Isn't terrible how these celebrities act?
Turn off the TV! Cancel your subscription to US Weekly. Who cares what these nuts in Hollywood are doing? Reading about the problems they cause doesn't make the world better, and it won't improve your mood. If you really need a celebrity fix, go research who donated the most to end world hunger or cure diabetes this year.
Can you believe what a monster she is? How could she do that to her child? They must be crazy to acquit her?!? Somebody should do something about this!
Turn off the TV! Can you bring the child back to life? Do you know exactly what happened? Can you go back in time to change it? Then why are you exposing yourself to stories about the terrible things people do to each other? Dateline, 20/20, and the other "news" organization make millions relating every story of depravity, violence, and hatred they can find. Turn it off! There are much more uplifting stories in the world -- they are just hidden further down the web page (or on page A10 for those that still know what a newspaper is).
Your children are covered in dirt from head-to-toe... again. Their rooms are a mess. And the noise they make is getting unbearable. Why won't they just grow up?!?
Your children are covered in dirt from head-to-toe... again. Their rooms are a mess. And the noise they make is getting unbearable. Why won't they just grow up?!?
They are kids. Think back and remember how you acted at their age -- what is that saying about stones and glass houses? Yes, kids are messy, and loud, and somehow deaf to all instruction. They are also likely the source of many of your smiles and laughs. Take a deep breath, correct the issue, and move on. You want your kids to grow-up before your ulcers do.
Your spouse loaded the dishwasher, but didn't do exactly the way you know is right. Your child vacuumed the family room for you, but didn't get the "lines" all even. You go to tell them they did it wrong, and show them how they should do it.
Your spouse loaded the dishwasher, but didn't do exactly the way you know is right. Your child vacuumed the family room for you, but didn't get the "lines" all even. You go to tell them they did it wrong, and show them how they should do it.
Sure, you could do it better than them, but do you really want to do it all yourself? If you correct them, they might do it your way next time. More likely, there won't be a next time. Your spouse or child will be frustrated and feel unappreciated. You will be frustrated because you had to do it yourself. Just accept the help, and move on.
Your co-worker drops off a cupcake at your desk. Your spouse brings home a small gift for no particular reason. Your neighbor offers to watch the kids so you can go for a walk. A friend stops by to just say hi and see how your are doing. You are suspicious. You assume that each must have an ulterior motive: the coworker wants a favor; your spouse did something wrong; your neighbor thinks you are fat; the friend is up to something.
Guess what? Some people are just nice. Maybe everyone you know is a plotting, scheming, nasty SOB. If so, you really need some new friends. I have met several people that are just kind, nice, caring people. They do nice things and say nice thing just because they want to help you have a nice day. Don't question it. Don't suspect them of some dark motive. Admire them; appreciate them; emulate them.
You are at a neighborhood party enjoying the nice weather and visiting. The talk alternates between work, kids, and spouses. In every case, each of your neighbors is complaining about how bad work is, or sharing stories about the trouble kids cause, or joking about the dumb thing their spouse did.
Sure, we all feel this way sometimes. And the stories can be funny. But, complaining all the time about your life doesn't make it any better. And sharing those embarrassing stories to a group is rude to the subject of your story. In the end, it won't improve your life, and will make life for someone else worse. Change the subject. Go get a drink. Share an uplifting story.
How many of those situations sounded familiar? Each time we fall into those traps, we erode our own happiness. We focus time and energy on issues that don't really matter. We miss chances to be uplifted and to smile. We make life for ourselves worse than it has to be. And it is our own fault.
I have a friend on Facebook who, for an entire year, is posting reasons she is grateful every day. I am sure it is not always easy, but it is inspiring. And she finds more happiness in life because of it. She is facing a difficult time, with her spouse overseas in the military, but she focuses on the good, and "Life sucks less." She is an example for how to make your own life better.
Say thank you - and mean it
Do something nice for a friend or family member
Turn off the negative news
Don't complain about work or family for a whole day
Yes, sometimes life sucks. But most of the time, it is our action and response that determines how happy or unhappy we are. Go do something to make today suck less!
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